A Blogger Tag Game for Really Awesome Bloggers

Recently I was tagged in a blogger game by Life Inside Nickie's Little Bubble (cute blog name and  blog to check out) where you basically take these questions below, answer them as honest as you can, and pass them on to other really awesome bloggers. Sounds groovy. I love games. So here it goes y'all.

Blogger Tag Game

1.  Where were you born?  OK, boring question I know, but I guess we have to start somewhere...Evanston, Illinois.  Woo Hoo, a real party town. Hear about Evanston all the time in the news. Oh, and my mom told me as I started to make my entrance into the world, the nuns held a mirror down south of her feet so she could see her beautiful baby bundle being born. Instead she passed out. Figures.

2. Where you named Paula after anyone special?  Me?  Nah. Well.  Maybe. There's Paula Abdul. Wait.  Pffft. No, maybe she was named after me.  How about...oh yea, here's a good one. Paula Dean.  My mom always did enjoy cooking, and eating.  So there's that.  

3. If you have children, how many?  I have five. Five too many children, thanks for asking.

4. Any pets?  Oh yes, as of today I have a Golden named Mozart Marley.  I'm fairly musical, hence the name.  Moz can be musical too.  In the past I've cared for goldfish, turtles, ducks, bunnies, hamsters, kitties, chickens, pigs, turkeys, and other canine friends.  Guess you could call me a city farm girl.  

5. What has been your worst injury to date?  Ummmm...driving my girlfriend's new moped into a tree  doing 15mph in front of a group of friends when I wasn't supposed to be on the moped, or within a five mile range of the moped. Strict orders from my parents.  Sorry Mom and Dad.  At least I survived and am here to tell the tale.

6. Do you have a special talent?  Handbag and shoe porn.  No question about it.  

7. What's your favorite thing to bake?  Anything butterscotch. You've heard of that Better Than Sex cake delight, right, well I bake these Oatmeal Scotchies that I will tell you are Better. Than. Sex. 

8. What's your favorite fast food?  I like anything fast. If it's simple and quick, I'm all for it. For me that would have to be a toss up between Wendy's for their mouthwatering big juicy burgers and salty fries and KFC for their greasy fried chicken and fattening mashed potatoes. I'm getting hungry y'all.

9. Would you bungee jump?  Do I look like an idiot?  You can ask me now while I'm tipsy or in another five minutes when I'm good and drunk, the answer will be the same.  NFW.

10. What's the first thing you notice about a person?  The eyes have it.  That followed by a person's smile.  Definitely eyes and smile.  

11. When was the last time you cried?  Interesting question.  Let's think, that would have to be last week before Blizzard Nemo struck when I realized I was out of butterscotch. And bacon. And Fritos Corn Chips.  Damn.  

12. Any current worries?  What kind of question is that?  Of course I have worries.  Just look at me.  Look.  Closer. Closer. Closer!  I'm a freakin' worry wart.  Don't let the disguise fool you.

13. Name three drinks you drink regularly.  Water, water and water.  Ok, an occasional Sierra Mist. And I do love a glass of cold apple cider with my bacon.

14. What is your favorite book?  OMFG, how could I possibly answer that one? That would be like asking me which one of my kids is my favorite kid.  Wait.  Nevermind.  I guess I would have to say that Jodi Picoult is right at the top of my list of favorite writers as I've read all her books.  I've even rubbed elbows (and bosoms, see pic below) with Jodi a few years ago in NYC.  She's one cool cat, wet hair and all.

                                                                
                                                     Jodi and I hanging in NYC

15. Would you like to do be a pirate? I liked the first question, however being a pirate is a totally different animal. I guess maybe that would be awesome for about a day....or 7 hours. Ok, maybe just 55 minutes. Come to think of it, I was a pirate wench one Halloween. I've still got the fishnet stockings and costume to prove it.  Next question.

16. What are your favorite smells?  Well I know what I don’t like the smell of and you can probably guess that one. As for my favorite smells...Easy.  Gardenias. Rain. Yankee Candles. Babies. Burberry Brit perfume. Dolce & Gabanna cologne for men. Butterscotch. Honey Pie. And bacon.

17.  Why do you blog?  Three simple words.  OK four.  Because I dig it.

18. What song do you want played at your funeral?  Ew.  If I must answer, I guess the first song that comes to my mind is, This Girl Is On Fire, but if I need to tone it down a bit then I'd have to say Ave Maria by Josh Groban and Amazing Grace by whatever country singer sings it the twangiest.

19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? So, if we're gonna get all personal y'all I'll just come out and say it.  It's my boobs.  I mean, they're still somewhat perky and a handful plus some, but if you look closely, they are not identical.  One is just slightly different than the other one.  So that would have to be it.  It's my boobs.

20. What is your favorite hobby?  Oh I love hobbies.  I do them every day.  Shopping, reading, antiquing, restaurant hopping, shopping, traveling, walking the treadmill, shopping, tennis and shopping.  And porn.  Handbag and shoe porn.  I think I mentioned that special talent of mine above in number 6.

21. What do you look for in a friend?  In all seriousness y'all, this is an important question. The main quality I look for in a friend is that their hiney is not as firm and round as mine and their boobs aren't perky.  One bit. OK, and that they're fun, trustworthy and older than me.

22. Tell us something you have done that you never thought you would do. Well, there are some things that come to mind that involve a golf course in the middle of the night, but I'd rather not share here. So I guess if I had to pick something else it would be...Skinny-dipping at Green Turtle Cay on a beautiful sunny day. Really, it was gorgeous y'all. Come to think of it, if I had the chance, I'd do it again.  Note to self: Check airfare and flights to The Abaco Islands.

23. What are your favorite things to do?  Check back at #20 but I can think up more, just ask my better half.  Next.

24. Any pet peeves?  You mean like toilet seats being left up so everyone can see the dried up pee stains (or worse), front door to the house left wide open as the dumbo who came in or out totally had a brain fart and forgot to close it, fridge door left wide open (dumbo strikes again), someone forgetting to cover what they are heating in the microwave (Phil and Jay).  I think I'd better stop now but thanks again for asking.

25. What was the last thing that made you laugh?  Her name is Jenny Lawson, better known as The Bloggess.  She's like Mother Teresa, Only Better. And that's that.


Done. That was a long ass game but aren't you lucky to know so much more about me? Why sure you are. The next part of the game is where I tag 10 more wicked bloggers and invite them to participate.  Or not.

Enjoy y'all. These bloggers are almost as good as me. Really.

Moms Who Drink and Swear

Hot Mess Mom

Jenny on the Spot

Wild Goddess Life

The Bearded Iris

Your Cup of Cake

Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva

Hither & Thither

Attack of the Redneck Mommy

My Badass Interview and Disney Trivia

I recently was interviewed at my home on a Wednesday during the kids school hours. After getting the last child off to school I jumped in the shower, alone, hubby had already left for work so he missed out, then proceeded to dry things off, floss, paint my toenails, blah, blah, blah, you know, do all the things needed for an interview.

Right on schedule I hear a ding dong at the front door.  I give the kitchen a quick final check. Yesterday's Dunkin donuts on display in case my guest is hungry. I'm fresh out of milk, coffee and tea so I've got the Champagne chilling. And for some background noise, Alanis Morissette belting out her endearing tune, You Oughta Know. Always so calming and soothing to help get me through the day. A quick spray of Lily of the Valley deodorizer on my way to the door and I'm set.

After some small chit-chat, a few Boston Creme donuts and several glasses of Moet & Chandon we are best buddies ready to get down to serious business. So happy I had those leftover donuts and kickass Alanis handy as this reporter was a first class babe.

Below are my interview questions and replies. You know, I think it went well. Except for number 8.


1. What did you have for breakfast?  Um.  Donuts and Champagne
2. What's your biggest fear?  Sex in an elevator that's going down. As a threesome
3. Describe yourself in one word.  Delicious
4. What is your favorite dessert?  Honey Pie, of course
5. Ever been caught naked in public?  Pffft, sure at least four times now, but the first two don't count
6. Any deep, dark secrets you'd like to share?  Well. I sometimes fantasize that I'm a bunny, living with lots of other bunnies.  In a big house. With an old man we call Hugh
7. What chick-flick always has you in tears?  Sex and the City 1 and 2.  Gets me every time
8. What would come up on the internet if I were to google your name?  *deer-in-the-headlights stare*  Next question
9. Any hot Hollywood heartthrob?  Uh, just one?  OK.  How about....Johnny Depp.  I'm kinda into sexy pirates. In tight trousers
10. Favorite position?  On At the top.  *giggle*  I like being in charge and in control.  At all times.  No matter what.  Period

Ready for my big interview. Does the dress match my eyes y'all?

Enough about sexy pirates and bunnies in a big house. We are up to the letter D.  And D stands for Disney!  My all time favorite place in the world.  Well, unless you count the massage parlor in town, then no, no, Disney would rank second place after Magic Mike's Massage.  Take it off Tuesdays are really worth your dime but we can chat about that another day.

I do love Disney though.  Been vacationing there since I was a young child and now my kids have had the experience of what a magical kingdom it really is.  Thanks Walt.

I have five Disney trivia questions for you.  Let's see how well you know Disney, and if you do, I just might have a magical surprise for you.  Let's play.

1. In Toy Story who owns Woody?  (This is a No Brainer you guys)
a. Tom
b. Andy
c. Henry

2. In Aladdin where does Aladdin find the Genie's lamp?  (OK it's obvious people)
a. The Cave of Magic
b. The Cave of Diamonds
c. The Cave of Wonders

3. In Beauty and the Beast what was Lumiere?  (Hint: He's French dude)
a. Candlestick
b. Clock
c. Wardrobe

4. In Sleeping Beauty what is the name of the Prince?  (This prince is Hawt)
a. Charming
b. Phillip
c. Eric

5. In which film would you find the character Smee? (I've got this thing for pirates y'all)
a. Pirates of the Caribbean
b. Enchanted
c. Peter Pan



Comment back at me and let's talk Disney, where dreams really do come true....yada yada yada.

Bimbos, brain farts and blogs, oh my

So my day today was errands.  Mom errands.  Errands, and errands. Though I did squeeze in a much needed, relaxing mani/pedi, which was, sorta relaxing, if I had turned off my phone. Four minutes after arriving at the spa I get a ding from one of my kids texting to ask if I had finished off all the Nutella. Me? Silly boy. I don't do Nutella. He texted me back five minutes later, happy as a lark, letting me know he had found it. In my bedroom. Under my pillow.

Ten minutes pass and I'm in my pedi chair, eyes closed, vibrating, chanting my mantra...Nutella, Nutella, Nu....Ding.  Damn cell phone interruptus.  Another text, from another kid that reads - Yo Ma, about the dog....he's in the backyard scooching along on his ass and foaming at the mouth.  Should you be concerned?

Phone OFF.

And then interestingly enough, my nail tech and I got on the subject of Brain Farts, had a good laugh, and that certainly brightened my mood.  Helped me forget about my dog for awhile anyway.

OK so I totally got off the subject of where I was going with this today.  How does that happen?  Anyway, this is gonna be a short quickie.  I love a quickie. They're all not much talk and so impersonal. The perfect boost for anyone's day, really.

OK so I wanna play my end of the blog alphabet game and I just know you do too.  Let's play!

We're up to the letter B.  And as I proudly learned in grammar school, B is for Bitches.  Still so proud of that, thank you to my south Floridan school teachers. However, best to avoid that subject here today as I don't want to throw out any names if you know what I mean (and I do have names all written down on paper, under my pillow).  Moving on.  How about B is for beef bologna.  Cool, yeah, Oscar Myers beef bologna. How I loved that as a kid. With mayonnaise. And cheese. Shit, I'm off topic again aren't I?  Brain Fart.  Ok, so not Bitches, not beef bologna....how about Bimbos.  Bimbos in Bikinis.  Pretty talented aren't I?  Those southern teachers sure taught me a thing or two.  My parents have always been proud.  Hey, I found some awesome pics of hottie BIMBOS in BIKINIS (looks even better all capped doesn't it?) to share.  Have a look...

Here I am. 20 years ago. Seriously, don't you just love those this?

Can't fool you with this one, I'm not a blonde. But don't you just love this look? All red and ready. Even lipstick to match ya'll!

Now this, I adore! Though I don't think it wise to wear this strutting along the beach. Sorry, got off topic again, this needs to be saved for alphabet letter S for sexys

Bombshell. Another B, thank you Mrs. Godwin my 4th grade teacher. This one's a beauty.  I want that suit, with that body...and that hair, and those lips...

And up to my final B for this game and then I'm gone. Blogs I heart. Yes, my Blogroll baby. I've spent hours, days even, searching really cool blogs for you.  Ready?  OK, let me know which one's are your favorite.  I can't decide, I love them all.


The Cloud Blog - this is all educational people.  Sometimes I stray a bit and like to actually learn about nature and crap

One Martini at a Time - sometimes you just need a drink, ya'll

Cake Wrecks - cakes gone wrong....but I'd eat it

Mommy Has a Headache - this mommy's got the right idea.  She's brilliant

Oh Honey Pie, you are making me crazy

*NOTE TO MY LOYAL READERS*  
The Honey Pie Dialogues is a wicked, awesome, dank blog for moms, women, dads, men, the nanny, the hair stylist, the lawn guys, the supermarket checker outer...you get my drift.  Even though I'm a faithful, respectful Polish, Hungarian, Brit and a decent Catholic girl at that, this blog, may at times, contain trash adult content, for the adult eyes only.  And, for example, I do tend to drop the F-bomb from time to time (and other choice words) when the mood strikes me.  Just sayin' and giving fair warning ya'll.  This is a HUMOR blog on most days, however some days may be dark, black and lonely. 


So, I'm back.  It's me, Paula, mommy of five, former blogger at What Did You Do All Day (retired), author of Living in a Locker Room and Co-founder of Mamazina magazine.  Yada yada yada.  Where was I hiding you ask?  I took a much needed break (before I broke).  Followed some different paths along the way, all good.  And now, here I am (yep, that's me in my profile pic looking uber excited and all dufus like with my new UCSD sweatshirt from son #1 this Christmas) ready to blog and share my crap  wonderful life with you.  And don't be shy, I do love company and occasional juicy gossip, so share your comments, thoughts and wild fantasies  wonderful life back at me.  

As I mentioned above, I've got five kiddos, four boys and one girl.  As of now they're between the ages of 25 to 11.  Whoa, I'm like, antique. *sobbing*  I know they certainly wouldn't want me to post about them and definitely not any pictures.  So here they are...

This is Tony. He's all 6'3 and so handsome (I'm mom, I can say that), recently moved to La Jolla, California where he attends UCSD for his PhD studying Biomedical Sciences.  Who would have thought this poopy pants, thumb sucking, hair pulling child would a). leave his mama for sunny CA and b). leave his mama for sunny CA and like it.  OK, OK.  Needless to say I'm thrilled for him and very proud.  





















Tony and Meg at the San Diego Zoo (Meg's his better half)


Next up, son #2, Nick.  Again I can say it cause I'm the mom.  Nick's 6'3 and gorgeous.  There, I said it.  He's been mistaken for Ashton Kutcher a few times, but who's counting.  He graduated from UCONN, is a workin' man now, lives nearby his mama and visits regularly (like a good boy).  I'm happy.


















Nick and Felly celebrate New Years with big hats, Mexican style


Meet son #3 Phillip.  Phillip is the child who looks most like Dad. And that's a good thing.  He's a real cutie and a loving son.  (I'm full of good ones today).  He attends UMASS studying Psychology (which he's super duper at).  His brothers have called him a mama's boy (what?), but he's just simply, Phillip.  I'm proud.


















Phillip's birthday (baseball fan and mama's boy....shhhhh)


Son #4 Joseph (Likes to go by Jay.  Where the hell did he come up with that one?).  Jay is very handsome and Jay is extremely talented with music.  All my son's play music and have performed on stage, but Jay, he's a musician (for real ya'll).  Jay is a senior this year and soon to be 18! (I know that can't come fast enough for all of us him).  Meet Jay...
























The Music Man (just ask me everyone)





And child #5, a girl!  Anna is a beautiful (inside and out) 5th grader this year.  She adores eating, horses, eating, sings in the school chorus, adores eating and is super talented in the arts.  She's also my shopping buddy.

Red Velvet Cheesecake.  I. Am. In. HEAVEN! (and she ate the whole thing)


Thought I'd throw in a shot of the hubby (the dad of 5)


















Here he is on an off day, you know, playing the hunter - of beavers...

...but he normally looks like this most days that I know him. Orvis lover.


OK, OK, I'll throw in some of me if you must ask....


















This is me during my big hair years. Yes, it's a perm.

Embarrassing. Even bigger hair. Bigger perm.



















Ok, I'm an old cow maturing now.  Me last year with a short do.

Me and my gang this past holiday season. Love these guys, even when NOT smiling. Nick (far left back corner).

And here we are now.  Older, wiser...OLD.  This is such a posed Christmas shot but I suppose it will have to do.


And finally, some random shit (in no order) you probably didn't know about me...or maybe you did so you're going to hear it again.

1. I Crave Bacon from a pig
2. I sometimes like to dress up as Mrs. Claus and do unthinkable things with candy canes
3.I swam in a lake I grew up on as a kid in southern Florida and didn't get gobbled by a gator. Lucky for me (and you) I'm still here
4.I sometimes fart in my sleep...and grind my teeth.  Pfffff, at least I don't snore, yet.  I'm totally musical
5.My dream vacation...Warsaw, Poland and Budapest, Hungary. For real. I plan to keep up on my heritage so maybe I'll see you there!
6.I don't always wipe front to back, but shhhhhh, don't tell anyone
7.I lost my virginity at 17 in the front seat of my boyfriend's mom's 1975 station wagon. Sorry Mom and Dad, but I still love you
8.My all-time favorite movie.  You've Got Mail with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks.  What can I say, I'm a hopeless romantic....except for the above mentioned about my sex in a station wagon days, and maybe the Mrs Claus stuff too.  I guess that would fit into the Paula the Slut category...
9.I dig the Beatles and their totally awesome 1968 hit Honey Pie from the White Album. I also dig Honey Pie.  Hey, anybody got a good recipe I can borrow?
10.I tinkle on average 6 times within a 24 hour period  

BOOM.

There. I'm done. That's me and I feel so much closer to ya'll.  Now it's your turn. I'd love to hear random shit back from YOU to get this blog going. You know, like how your dog got hit by a truck the other day while you were waiting for the mail delivery and now he walks with a wicked limp.  Or maybe about your uncle Henry's hemorrhoid surgery gone bad.  There could also be a wild tale about your Grammy's love of Tequila shots before dinner, breakfast, second breakfast, lunch, group sex...whatever it is, it's all good. I'm here to listen. Talk to me.

And just ONE more thing.  Promise. Then I'll shut the fuck up.

OK. So I heart playing games.  So each time I write to you, I will end my blog with a random question, thought, comment, quote, photo, etc, etc.  So, wanna play with me?  Squee!  Let the games begin!

We'll start with the letter A in the alphabet...let's see, subject could be Aardvarks, no, to educational. Maybe Adams apples, pfffff, gross, no,... hmmmm, Assholes.....I think not.  How about... ART. Yeah, ART it is.


HoneyPie Thoughts:  Art Photos  (Remember, this is a humor blog people)  Comments, thoughts, your own groovy art/pics?

Me when waking in the morning.  You like?

Me when attempting to shave in the morning.  Some body part angles can be quite interesting if you must know.

Me and my man. "Hey babe, while you're down there..."

I frequently dream I'm a hot bunny who digs music and dances like no one is watching.  That's me.

Then there's this sex fantasy. What does this mean ya'll??