Sometimes
I say the strangest things. Just ask one of my kids. They know. They have to
live with me every day. And I'm sure they could fill you in on a boatload of
random craziness that passes their mother's lips on any given day.
Who
knows. Maybe I'm too bold. Maybe I'm too proud. Maybe confused and lacking sex
sleep, which happens most nights, but it just happens you guys. I open my mouth
and the words fly out. Full speed ahead.
Things I've been known to holler
say on any given day
1.
Oh. My. Fucking. God. I just accidently deleted my blog post, Top 10 things to
do now that you're 21 - for the second fucking time in a row. *Breath in,
breath out, slow, deep breaths* It's gone. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
2.
Where are my tweezers? Where the hell are my tweezers?! Did you guys borrow my
tweezers?!!
3.
OK, so, do my boobs look, you know, like really, really awesome in this
turtleneck sweater y'all?
4.
Did you just touch that doorknob? Did you? Wash your hands. WASH THEM. WASH
THEM NOW!
5.
I like to sing. I do. Can I sing while you play guitar? I'm pretty dank. Just a
little song, it'll be over quick.
6.
This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine.
I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. Let
it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. (I like to sing this one while making
dinner when feeling useless and depressed).
7.
One can never have enough garlic. It's great for your skin, breath and keeping
the vampires at bay. Trust me.
8.
I've been driving twice as long as you've been breathing mister. I know what
I'm doing and I did not just cut that bitch off. Now zip it, tighten that seat
belt and enjoy the ride.
9.
Are we out of Fritos Corn Chips? I couldn't have eaten that entire bag...Wait.
OK. Guilty. No biggie, I'll just get more.
10.
Dad and I are having dinner together tonight. Just the two of us. Together.
Nope. Not with you. SCRAM.
11.
This straw is an idiot. A complete idiot. I can't suck it. I just want to SUCK IT! It won't let me. Idiot.
12.
What's with the cat? No really y'all, look at her, what's up with that? Holy
shit. If only I could get in that position you guys would never see me again.
I'll stop for today but I've got loads more I can share with you on a rainy day. Or sunny.
A little secret y'all. Something I think to myself when feeling yucky and blue. Works every time.
Time for the Alphabet Game! We are up to the letter E and I got to thinking about Elbows. I know, not something normal people really are all like "Yay, let's check out our elbows! Who's are the scabbiest? Wait. Get a close up pic of mine!" But then I just happened to come across these elbows and I was all like, "Hell yea. That is so awesome."
