Sweet, delish Honey Pie

Sweet, delish Honey Pie

Monday, June 17, 2013

A new travel blog


Hello?  Is it me you're looking for?

Hi!  Couldn't help throw in a little Lionel Ritchie from the past.

You might be wondering where I am or what's up with me since I haven't been around for a while. I'm definitely still around attending to all my regular mama duties. Also preparing to move the family from one state to another (which is a whole 'nother job in itself), but my biggest news (and what's been totally taking me away from you), is the upcoming launch of my new travel blog!

This Girl Travels will be launching Tuesday, June 18th and I am so excited! Squeeeee!!!!!!!
We are also having a Twitter party Tuesday the 18th chatting all about Disney on a Budget! Join us from 2-3pm.  Be sure to follow @thisgrltravels on Twitter and follow the hashtag #thisgirltravels

Come on over and check out all of our travel reviews and helpful travel tips for families, couples and girlfriend getaways! And of course we'll have updates on all things Disney!

Hope to see you there!



Friday, April 19, 2013

Surrender to your bacon obsession

I've been traveling recently (and eating a lot lately) and I've come to realize that I didn't know just how popular the fatty, greasy, tasty pig meat we call bacon was.  

Until Denny's.

I could even order a Maple Bacon Sundae.  Imagine.  Who knew?  

I'll take two, thank you very much.

BACONALIA is back!



I decided to do a little more digging into bacon.  I found some pretty groovy stuff.

Got the no bacon blues?  Bacon Freak can help.  (You know why we're here people.  We MUST HAVE BACON!)


Need a bacon gift idea?  No problem.  Bacon Everything y'all!

And another bacon collection.  Into candy necklaces?  Why not try a bacon candy necklace.  (You know you want to try one)

And finally, the bacon condom has arrived y'all!  It was only a matter of time. Yummy!

I've saved the best for last...

Whiskey Bacon!  Bourbon Caramel Tipped Bacon Roses.
Aren't these the most scrumptious looking edible roses you've ever seen, ever? (I've included the recipe for your pleasure. You can thank me later).

I'm off now to bacon shop.  All I need is a bacon candy necklace, whiskey bacon roses and a bacon condom.  

Wait. I totally just found this y'all.  The Bacon Bra.  What do ya think? Honestly?

Now if I could only find the matching bacon thong.



Thursday, March 28, 2013

A little time away, a little travel

I know.  I've been out of touch for awhile.  What can I say, I'm a travelin' girl. 

The husband had business travel in upstate NY - one of our families old stomping grounds - and we decided to go along, for fun.  Eating and shopping, fun. 

We also toured the Albany Institute of History and Art Museum which was pretty awesome.
We learned how to mummify a body, something that is definitely good to know these days.  

Now I want to explore Egypt with Rameses, Cleopatra and King Tut.

I am also very busy working on a new project that I will be launching soon.  Very excited about but lips are sealed for now.  Stay tuned...........

I also want to mention a fabulous new book that is now out called Minivans, Meltdowns & Merlot by Carolyn Coppola (edited by Sarah Teres). All Mothers, new or experienced will LOVE this book. Available in all EBOOK formats and in paperback with all major book sellers. Check out Carolyn's site today!  www.carolyncoppola.com  I happen to have a few free giveaway copies to share so please comment and let me know if you'd like a copy!  (just a note - you mamas will adore this book so get your copy today!).




Anna ready to eat at one of our favorite road trip stops

Amazing how this works, y'all

This one's a little shy. I wanted to see his face

A bit creepy but a whole lot cool

Friday, March 15, 2013

Oldies but goodies to share of my brood

I was sitting around doing nothing today (do you believe that one?) when I got to thinking about my kids.  No, not about how pissed off I am that they haven't cleaned up their rooms or haven't told me they loved me ten times today (which I truly deserved). Just thinking...

Then I got all mushy-like and started to look through some oldies but goodies which is the best pick-me-up for this mom, ever.

I'll share.



Nick and Charlie in Vermont. A boy and his dog


Phillip in Guatemala waiting to meet his new little sister


Joseph and Phillip hanging around.  Lake Winnipesaukee, NH


Anna Grace Lake Kanasatka, NH.  Cutie Patootie!


Me and my goofballs I call my boys


Nick fishin' at Lake Kanasatka, NH

A Schmitt family Easter in Vermont.  LOVE :)

Tom and the boys. Father's Day in Vermont


Phillip, Tony and Joseph in Vermont. Yum, eats!


Me and my guys. It's somebody's First Communion

Tony being Tony with the help of his brothers


Joseph turns 8 with his mommy and daddy, and half of brother Tony


Anna hanging with the piggies in Vermont


Joseph being Joseph. I like the tee shirt buddy.


Phillip turns 12! And is what looks to be a Yankees fan. 

Mother's Day in Vermont. Happiness :)


Tony showing off in Florida. Can you say Nike Air?

Me and my boys vacationing in Maine. Yes, it was frigid


A refreshing dip in the pool. Joseph chillin'in Vermont

I LOVE this pic! Something about our family and pirates...Lake Winnipesaukee, NH





Thursday, March 7, 2013

A Huntin' Man Who's Pretty Bad at Huntin' Deer


Conversation recently between the Hubs (AKA, Orvis Lover, AKA, Dad of 5, AKA, Huntin' Man) and me.  

Subject: Hunting with guns.


Dad of 5: I'm thinking about getting another gun.

Me: You already have one. What would you do with another?

Dad of 5:  Hunt more.

Now just to fill you in a bit.  In the years my husband and I have been together (and that's a long ass time now) we have been anti-guns in our home while raising our kids.  We didn't care what others did in their homes, it just wasn't happening in ours.  My husband was also very much against hunting, period.  When we built our home out in the country in Vermont he was the first to venture out on our 80 acres of land to post NO HUNTING signs, everywhere.

Years have past and our little boys are now big boys and Orvis Lover's tune has changed...


Me: Hunt more?

Dad of 5: Yea, you know, now that the boys are grown and I'm not coaching their sport's teams anymore I'd like to do something sporty myself. Something useful.

Me: And strutting around with a gun, stalking and shooting animals is something useful.

Dad of 5: First of all I don't strut. Ever. And second.....second....

Me: I'm listening...

Dad of 5: Even if I do want to hang a deer, bear or moose head on the wall, I still plan to eat what I hunt.

Me: A) I am not chewing and swallowing deer, bear or moose and B) Don't even think anyone's head is hanging on our walls and C) You've never ever even shot a deer. Only beavers.

Dad of 5: I still want another gun.



The Huntin' Man with his beaver, cause he's Pretty Bad at Huntin' Deer


Here's what I say


Period.


Sign on our Vermont property



The Huntin' Man even made a cabinet for his gun. Extra bolted.



Today's Alphabet Game has us to the letter I, and in honor of my husband's new love for hunting, I did some research.  I suggested to the hubs he pack it up and head to Indonesia to hang with the Lembata Islanders and hunt Sperm Whale.  Sounds like a good time and probably pretty tasty, too. 





Thursday, February 28, 2013

Funny Ass Humor I Found on Pinterest While Doing Absolutely Nothing but Wasting Time

I enjoy humor.  What can I say?  A good snicker and pee-in-your-pants, tears running down your face laugh is damn good medicine. 

So on days when I'm feeling I need a grin, I visit my good buddy Pinterest.  Amen.

We are on the letter H for this blog post y'all and H stands for Humor.  Enjoy.



Two very important things in my life...uh, actually that's three. 


Damn early birds. Mornings and worms can suck it.



Why haven't the bacon people thought of this? 



Dude. I have to tinkle.



You know that's the truth.



To hell with meditation and yoga. Pop them pills.



Good old GPS. Works every time.



I live by this motto. You're either hungry or you're not.




Top three important things in life. Who could live without?





Friday, February 22, 2013

The Game of Truth or Dare. And Giraffes.


My eleven year old middle school daughter and I were having a conversation the other day about games and one game in particular became the topic of discussion. A party game we all know as Truth or Dare.

My daughter:  Um, I've also played this game called Truth or Dare.

Me: Uh huh. Where, why and with whom?

My daughter:  Just with friends, you know, sleepovers Mom.

Me:  Uh huh.  Oh I've been to sleepovers in my day. And I've played Truth or Dare maybe five, or 65 times in my life.  Well that's a fun game don't you think sweetie?

My daughter:  Mom.  Ew.  I guess if you like giving out your biggest secret about a major crush you have on the hottest eighth grade boy in the school or if you think it's really super cool to be double dared to prank call the Pope.

Note to self:  Sign up tomorrow morning at daughter's middle school as room parent and cafeteria mom. Also call Pope to apologize.


I can still vividly recall some of the naughty but awesome Truth or Dare questions asked during my middle school sleepover days.


Paula Truth or Dare?

Me:  Truth.

Name one celebrity you desperately want to make out with.

Me:  I can only name one, I mean I can easily spout off three, or seven if you'd let me?

Just one.

Me: Andy Gibb.  Yep, hairy chested Andy.  He's right up there at the top of my list.

Paula Truth or Dare?

Me: Dare. *sniff*

Go jump in the pool, fart, and announce to the world as loud as you can, "I cut the cheese!"


Yes, those were the good ol' days my friends.


Letter G today folks for our Alphabet Game.  And I've got the perfect G.  I've always been excited about Giraffes.  I've loved them at the zoo and even Melman in my kids Madagascar movies.

 I'm thinking Giraffe Sex.




Giraffes may be awkward but they're quick, y'all.










Friday, February 15, 2013

A Blogger Tag Game for Really Awesome Bloggers



Recently I was tagged in a blogger game by Life Inside Nickie's Little Bubble (cute blog name and  blog to check out) where you basically take these questions below, answer them as honest as you can, and pass them on to other really awesome bloggers. Sounds groovy. I love games. So here it goes y'all.


Blogger Tag Game


1.  Where were you born?  OK, boring question I know, but I guess we have to start somewhere...Evanston, Illinois.  Woo Hoo, a real party town. Hear about Evanston all the time in the news. Oh, and my mom told me as I started to make my entrance into the world, the nuns held a mirror down south of her feet so she could see her beautiful baby bundle being born. Instead she passed out. Figures.

2. Where you named Paula after anyone special?  Me?  Nah. Well.  Maybe. There's Paula Abdul. Wait.  Pffft. No, maybe she was named after me.  How about...oh yea, here's a good one. Paula Dean.  My mom always did enjoy cooking, and eating.  So there's that.  

3. If you have children, how many?  I have five. Five too many children, thanks for asking.

4. Any pets?  Oh yes, as of today I have a Golden named Mozart Marley.  I'm fairly musical, hence the name.  Moz can be musical too.  In the past I've cared for goldfish, turtles, ducks, bunnies, hamsters, kitties, chickens, pigs, turkeys, and other canine friends.  Guess you could call me a city farm girl.  

5. What has been your worst injury to date?  Ummmm...driving my girlfriend's new moped into a tree  doing 15mph in front of a group of friends when I wasn't supposed to be on the moped, or within a five mile range of the moped. Strict orders from my parents.  Sorry Mom and Dad.  At least I survived and am here to tell the tale.

6. Do you have a special talent?  Handbag and shoe porn.  No question about it.  

7. What's your favorite thing to bake?  Anything butterscotch. You've heard of that Better Than Sex cake delight, right, well I bake these Oatmeal Scotchies that I will tell you are Better. Than. Sex. 

8. What's your favorite fast food?  I like anything fast. If it's simple and quick, I'm all for it. For me that would have to be a toss up between Wendy's for their mouthwatering big juicy burgers and salty fries and KFC for their greasy fried chicken and fattening mashed potatoes. I'm getting hungry y'all.

9. Would you bungee jump?  Do I look like an idiot?  You can ask me now while I'm tipsy or in another five minutes when I'm good and drunk, the answer will be the same.  NFW.

10. What's the first thing you notice about a person?  The eyes have it.  That followed by a person's smile.  Definitely eyes and smile.  

11. When was the last time you cried?  Interesting question.  Let's think, that would have to be last week before Blizzard Nemo struck when I realized I was out of butterscotch. And bacon. And Fritos Corn Chips.  Damn.  

12. Any current worries?  What kind of question is that?  Of course I have worries.  Just look at me.  Look.  Closer. Closer. Closer!  I'm a freakin' worry wart.  Don't let the disguise fool you.

13. Name three drinks you drink regularly.  Water, water and water.  Ok, an occasional Sierra Mist. And I do love a glass of cold apple cider with my bacon.

14. What is your favorite book?  OMFG, how could I possibly answer that one? That would be like asking me which one of my kids is my favorite kid.  Wait.  Nevermind.  I guess I would have to say that Jodi Picoult is right at the top of my list of favorite writers as I've read all her books.  I've even rubbed elbows (and bosoms, see pic below) with Jodi a few years ago in NYC.  She's one cool cat, wet hair and all.


                                                                
                                                     Jodi and I hanging in NYC

15. Would you like to do be a pirate? I liked the first question, however being a pirate is a totally different animal. I guess maybe that would be awesome for about a day....or 7 hours. Ok, maybe just 55 minutes. Come to think of it, I was a pirate wench one Halloween. I've still got the fishnet stockings and costume to prove it.  Next question.

16. What are your favorite smells?  Well I know what I don’t like the smell of and you can probably guess that one. As for my favorite smells...Easy.  Gardenias. Rain. Yankee Candles. Babies. Burberry Brit perfume. Dolce & Gabanna cologne for men. Butterscotch. Honey Pie. And bacon.

17.  Why do you blog?  Three simple words.  OK four.  Because I dig it.

18. What song do you want played at your funeral?  Ew.  If I must answer, I guess the first song that comes to my mind is, This Girl Is On Fire, but if I need to tone it down a bit then I'd have to say Ave Maria by Josh Groban and Amazing Grace by whatever country singer sings it the twangiest.

19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? So, if we're gonna get all personal y'all I'll just come out and say it.  It's my boobs.  I mean, they're still somewhat perky and a handful plus some, but if you look closely, they are not identical.  One is just slightly different than the other one.  So that would have to be it.  It's my boobs.

20. What is your favorite hobby?  Oh I love hobbies.  I do them every day.  Shopping, reading, antiquing, restaurant hopping, shopping, traveling, walking the treadmill, shopping, tennis and shopping.  And porn.  Handbag and shoe porn.  I think I mentioned that special talent of mine above in number 6.

21. What do you look for in a friend?  In all seriousness y'all, this is an important question. The main quality I look for in a friend is that their hiney is not as firm and round as mine and their boobs aren't perky.  One bit. OK, and that they're fun, trustworthy and older than me.

22. Tell us something you have done that you never thought you would do. Well, there are some things that come to mind that involve a golf course in the middle of the night, but I'd rather not share here. So I guess if I had to pick something else it would be...Skinny-dipping at Green Turtle Cay on a beautiful sunny day. Really, it was gorgeous y'all. Come to think of it, if I had the chance, I'd do it again.  Note to self: Check airfare and flights to The Abaco Islands.

23. What are your favorite things to do?  Check back at #20 but I can think up more, just ask my better half.  Next.

24. Any pet peeves?  You mean like toilet seats being left up so everyone can see the dried up pee stains (or worse), front door to the house left wide open as the dumbo who came in or out totally had a brain fart and forgot to close it, fridge door left wide open (dumbo strikes again), someone forgetting to cover what they are heating in the microwave (Phil and Jay).  I think I'd better stop now but thanks again for asking.

25. What was the last thing that made you laugh?  Her name is Jenny Lawson, better known as The Bloggess.  She's like Mother Teresa, Only Better. And that's that.


Done. That was a long ass game but aren't you lucky to know so much more about me? Why sure you are. The next part of the game is where I tag 10 more wicked bloggers and invite them to participate.  Or not.

Enjoy y'all. These bloggers are almost as good as me. Really.
















Monday, February 11, 2013

My Vag Mobile and Other Nonsense My Teenage Son Rambles

I've had the week from hell, if I must bring it up.

OK, I must.

Over a week ago my teenage son brought home....something (No, not one of his trampy, overstuffed, giddy female types).  More like a wicked, serious virus.  As viruses go it did its job and travelled through our house attacking everything in its path.  We had more snot than we knew what to do with.  Nothing pretty.  Eventually everyone slowly started to dry up and return back to normal. Except me. All my snot decided it really, really liked me and wasn't leaving anytime soon. I'm lucky that way.

So as I'm googling Neti Pots (suggested to me by a Facebook friend), I hear on the news about the motherlode blizzard, Nemo, that is about to hit us within a couple days.  And hit us it did, dropping a good 2 feet or more of the white powder everywhere.

Lucky me, I'm still dealing with snot, and now mountains of snow.

I got to thinking the other day (as I've had hours and hours to think while lying around with a 101 degree fever and fun outdoor time with a shovel in hand) about something that was mentioned to me a couple weeks ago by my husband regarding my SUV.  I drive a Nissan Pathfinder.  It's red and all badass but I guess according to my high school son, it's not drivable.

Me to the Hubby: You're taking Jay driving tonight so here's my car keys.

Hubby: You can keep your car keys. He told me he's not driving your car.

Me: He said what?

Hubby: That's right. He calls it the Vag Mobile. Said he's not gonna be seen driving that.

Me: The what?

Hubby: (Looking down at my crotch, smiling) The Vag. You know.....Vag, short for vagina. He thinks it's a chick car.

Me: (Shoving car keys into hubbies hand)  It's dark. No one will ever know the difference. Now go get him and scram.


I looked up Vag Mobile in the Urban dictionary and this is what it said.

1. Vag Mobile  -  A man driving a Mitsubishi Eclipse.

What is that?  It didn't mention anything about Nissan Pathfinders!

Badass SUV. Not a Vag Mobile

I got to thinking a bit more about my teenage son...

Other nonsense Jay rambles when he feels like it
1. I don't plan. Anything. It just all happens dude.
2. Hook me up with some of that scrimp.
3. P diddy, you game?
4. This is cleaned up. My clean pile, my dirty pile and my maybe in-between pile. Works for me.
5. Yo, Ma. Have you seen my deodorant, or my toothpicks?



Time for the alphabet game and we are up to letter F.  This could be Fun.
However, since we are on the subject of kids, and what more do kids (especially boys and grown men) think is a real hoot....

Topic: Farts are Funny!  Enjoy.  Warning: These videos are very noisy and smelly.

1.  The Farting car salesman

2. Ultimate Farts



Monday, February 4, 2013

The Top 10 Things To Do Now That You're 21


Note y'all: OK, so this is the blog post that was posted for one day and then somehow was accidentally deleted where in my last blog post about strange things I say I was all, "Oh. My. Fucking. God. I just accidentally deleted my blog post for the second fucking time in a row!" Remember that one? Yea, so bing, I got it back! Some of you have probably already read this nonsense but some of you people missed out - so lucky for you, I got it back.

So there's that.


One of our sons just celebrated his birthday a few days ago and it happened to be his 21st - THE BIG ONE.  I remember my 21st celebration as if it were yesterday.  Well sorta, it's a bit fuzzy around the edges but seems all I really can recall from that glorious night was shouting the words, Get In Line, over and over again, but you get my drift.  It's a big night and a big deal for the birthday guy or gal.

So with our son Phillip (who is a good mama's boy) we partied it up at our local Five Guys ('cause Johnny Rockets had a half hour wait out the door) then returned home to open what he really wanted to get his hands on (no, we didn't hire Jamie Chung to jump out of his birthday cake. Sorry Phil).





Yes we are eating every one of those damn fries. It's Phil's 21st birthday! 



This is all I really care about



 Really. Fun was had by all, he's finally 21 and today's another day. Onward.


Then in honor of Phil turning 21 I got to thinking...(scary, I know)


The Top 10 Things To Do Now That You're 21

1. You wake in the afternoon on your 21st birthday and are feeling a little thirsty. Go on. A good Bloody Mary never hurt anyone. Plus you're totally legal.
2. After a few Bloody Mary's and a good cold shower you decide to get that tattoo you've always wanted (And be sure to choose something other than a sexy pirate or the letters M.O.M.)
3. Next up - Skydiving. Live life on the edge. Afterwards be sure to call your Mom to let her know you're OK and you didn't fall 5,000 feet to your death.
4. Hire a limo to chauffeur you and your friends around on your special night. You're paying. Your friends will love you. Party it up!
5. Make sure one of your friends brings a camera so they can capture all the stupid things you will surely do on your big night. Or not.
6. Have the limo stop at a liquor store along the way and you run in and buy something. Because you can.
7. Go to a bar. Any bar, just find one. Order a round of drinks for all. You are AWESOME.
8. After several Peach Schnapps and Whiskey shots you feel like showing off your fresh tattoo and dancing. On the table. Do it. You look great. Everybody looks great!
9. Casino! You're feeling lucky tonight (No, not that lucky - loser) Be daring. (*Note to self: Gambling is immoral and should be abolished*)  "Hit Me!"
10. As the sun is rising you are getting a bit hungry and you know what that means....Denny's for breakfast! OK, so maybe this is not your first time at a Denny's watching the sun rise with a group of hung-over delightful friends, but you are hungry. So eat. And Happy 21 to you.


So in my last blog post we played Disney Trivia and it looks like we have a winner! Yay to *Anonymous* whoever the hell you are....Anyway, So since you had all your answers correct, and you certainly appear to have your Disney shit together, the surprise for this blog post is....more Disney!

OK so multiple choice y'all. What do you think we should do with Alice? That girl's a real pain in the ass sometimes.


Silly Alice. She's lost her way, again


Saturday, February 2, 2013

Things I've been known to say on any given day. Because I can.


Sometimes I say the strangest things. Just ask one of my kids. They know. They have to live with me every day. And I'm sure they could fill you in on a boatload of random craziness that passes their mother's lips on any given day.

Who knows. Maybe I'm too bold. Maybe I'm too proud. Maybe confused and lacking sex sleep, which happens most nights, but it just happens you guys. I open my mouth and the words fly out. Full speed ahead.


Things I've been known to holler say on any given day

1. Oh. My. Fucking. God. I just accidently deleted my blog post, Top 10 things to do now that you're 21 - for the second fucking time in a row. *Breath in, breath out, slow, deep breaths* It's gone. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
2. Where are my tweezers? Where the hell are my tweezers?! Did you guys borrow my tweezers?!!
3. OK, so, do my boobs look, you know, like really, really awesome in this turtleneck sweater y'all?
4. Did you just touch that doorknob? Did you? Wash your hands. WASH THEM. WASH THEM NOW!
5. I like to sing. I do. Can I sing while you play guitar? I'm pretty dank. Just a little song, it'll be over quick.
6. This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. (I like to sing this one while making dinner when feeling useless and depressed).
7. One can never have enough garlic. It's great for your skin, breath and keeping the vampires at bay. Trust me.
8. I've been driving twice as long as you've been breathing mister. I know what I'm doing and I did not just cut that bitch off. Now zip it, tighten that seat belt and enjoy the ride.
9. Are we out of Fritos Corn Chips? I couldn't have eaten that entire bag...Wait. OK. Guilty. No biggie, I'll just get more.
10. Dad and I are having dinner together tonight. Just the two of us. Together. Nope. Not with you. SCRAM.
11. This straw is an idiot. A complete idiot. I can't suck it. I just want to SUCK IT! It won't let me. Idiot. 
12. What's with the cat? No really y'all, look at her, what's up with that? Holy shit. If only I could get in that position you guys would never see me again.



I'll stop for today but I've got loads more I can share with you on a rainy day. Or sunny. 

A little secret y'all. Something I think to myself when feeling yucky and blue. Works every time.





Time for the Alphabet Game! We are up to the letter E and I got to thinking about Elbows. I know, not something normal people really are all like "Yay, let's check out our elbows! Who's are the scabbiest? Wait. Get a close up pic of mine!" But then I just happened to come across these elbows and I was all like, "Hell yea. That is so awesome."

And one more E......Sweet Dreams!

Friday, January 25, 2013

My Badass Interview and Disney Trivia

I recently was interviewed at my home on a Wednesday during the kids school hours. After getting the last child off to school I jumped in the shower, alone, hubby had already left for work so he missed out, then proceeded to dry things off, floss, paint my toenails, blah, blah, blah, you know, do all the things needed for an interview.

Right on schedule I hear a ding dong at the front door.  I give the kitchen a quick final check. Yesterday's Dunkin donuts on display in case my guest is hungry. I'm fresh out of milk, coffee and tea so I've got the Champagne chilling. And for some background noise, Alanis Morissette belting out her endearing tune, You Oughta Know. Always so calming and soothing to help get me through the day. A quick spray of Lily of the Valley deodorizer on my way to the door and I'm set.

After some small chit-chat, a few Boston Creme donuts and several glasses of Moet & Chandon we are best buddies ready to get down to serious business. So happy I had those leftover donuts and kickass Alanis handy as this reporter was a first class babe.

Below are my interview questions and replies. You know, I think it went well. Except for number 8.


1. What did you have for breakfast?  Um.  Donuts and Champagne
2. What's your biggest fear?  Sex in an elevator that's going down. As a threesome
3. Describe yourself in one word.  Delicious
4. What is your favorite dessert?  Honey Pie, of course
5. Ever been caught naked in public?  Pffft, sure at least four times now, but the first two don't count
6. Any deep, dark secrets you'd like to share?  Well. I sometimes fantasize that I'm a bunny, living with lots of other bunnies.  In a big house. With an old man we call Hugh
7. What chick-flick always has you in tears?  Sex and the City 1 and 2.  Gets me every time
8. What would come up on the internet if I were to google your name?  *deer-in-the-headlights stare*  Next question
9. Any hot Hollywood heartthrob?  Uh, just one?  OK.  How about....Johnny Depp.  I'm kinda into sexy pirates. In tight trousers
10. Favorite position?  On At the top.  *giggle*  I like being in charge and in control.  At all times.  No matter what.  Period


Ready for my big interview. Does the dress match my eyes y'all?


Enough about sexy pirates and bunnies in a big house. We are up to the letter D.  And D stands for Disney!  My all time favorite place in the world.  Well, unless you count the massage parlor in town, then no, no, Disney would rank second place after Magic Mike's Massage.  Take it off Tuesdays are really worth your dime but we can chat about that another day.

I do love Disney though.  Been vacationing there since I was a young child and now my kids have had the experience of what a magical kingdom it really is.  Thanks Walt.

I have five Disney trivia questions for you.  Let's see how well you know Disney, and if you do, I just might have a magical surprise for you.  Let's play.

1. In Toy Story who owns Woody?  (This is a No Brainer you guys)
a. Tom
b. Andy
c. Henry

2. In Aladdin where does Aladdin find the Genie's lamp?  (OK it's obvious people)
a. The Cave of Magic
b. The Cave of Diamonds
c. The Cave of Wonders

3. In Beauty and the Beast what was Lumiere?  (Hint: He's French dude)
a. Candlestick
b. Clock
c. Wardrobe

4. In Sleeping Beauty what is the name of the Prince?  (This prince is Hawt)
a. Charming
b. Phillip
c. Eric

5. In which film would you find the character Smee? (I've got this thing for pirates y'all)
a. Pirates of the Caribbean
b. Enchanted
c. Peter Pan



Comment back at me and let's talk Disney, where dreams really do come true....yada yada yada.



Wednesday, January 23, 2013

My Bucket List and the Letter C

There comes a time in your life when you stop and reflect on things you've accomplished and things you still want to accomplish before, you know, kicking the bucket, as they say. They call it a Bucket List. A list of things to do before you croak. Anyone can write up their list at any time, any age. So, I got to thinking today about my list and all and after about five hours of deep pondering and five glasses of a crisp, fruity Chardonnay, I now have a list. And who better to share it with than y'all...

Paula's Bucket List in no particular order  (January 23, 2013)

1. Party at a hookah lounge wearing my bright orange spandex leisure suit
2. Bathe in a tub full of marshmallows
3. Overcome my fear of rabbits
4. Kiss someone that's Greek (really, really want this)
5. Do the Watermelon Crawl
6. Have sex in a rowboat.  Oh wait.  Check that one.  Mission accomplished
6. Run with big bulls in Spain
7. Learn to Tango while sober, in Buenos Aires
8. Master the Scorpion Yoga pose without injuring myself or others
9. Hike Japan's "Sea of Trees" forest in the winter
10. Join the Mile High Club, even though I don't do planes
11. Go swimming with penguins, naked
12. Chase a twister in the rain
13. Make out in Tuscany on top of the Eiffel Tower. Oh no, that wouldn't work.  Check
13. Make out in Tuscany
14. Walk on hot coals while singing This is Why I'm Hot
15. Party with Ellen DeGeneres since I can't with Mother Teresa

I love my list.

And now, moving along to our alphabet game.  Letter C.  I gave this a lot of thought and the first thing that came to mind were Cats.  I adore cats and I found some very gnarly, creepy cats, but kinda cute in their own way, to share.


This guy appears to have eaten one to many birds



This cutie forgot to get dressed this morning


A face only a mother could love


This one's kinda cute if your into the alien look



And now onto the good part. C also stands for Celebs. Hot Hunk Celebs in Speedos. You'll thank me for this.

David Beckham - Tattoos are a good thing

Hugh Jackman - Are you all dried off, everywhere?

Russell Brand - He's really feelin' it, y'all