My Vag Mobile and Other Nonsense My Teenage Son Rambles

I've had the week from hell, if I must bring it up.

OK, I must.

Over a week ago my teenage son brought home....something (No, not one of his trampy, overstuffed, giddy female types).  More like a wicked, serious virus.  As viruses go it did its job and travelled through our house attacking everything in its path.  We had more snot than we knew what to do with.  Nothing pretty.  Eventually everyone slowly started to dry up and return back to normal. Except me. All my snot decided it really, really liked me and wasn't leaving anytime soon. I'm lucky that way.

So as I'm googling Neti Pots (suggested to me by a Facebook friend), I hear on the news about the motherlode blizzard, Nemo, that is about to hit us within a couple days.  And hit us it did, dropping a good 2 feet or more of the white powder everywhere.

Lucky me, I'm still dealing with snot, and now mountains of snow.

I got to thinking the other day (as I've had hours and hours to think while lying around with a 101 degree fever and fun outdoor time with a shovel in hand) about something that was mentioned to me a couple weeks ago by my husband regarding my SUV.  I drive a Nissan Pathfinder.  It's red and all badass but I guess according to my high school son, it's not drivable.

Me to the Hubby: You're taking Jay driving tonight so here's my car keys.

Hubby: You can keep your car keys. He told me he's not driving your car.

Me: He said what?

Hubby: That's right. He calls it the Vag Mobile. Said he's not gonna be seen driving that.

Me: The what?

Hubby: (Looking down at my crotch, smiling) The Vag. You know.....Vag, short for vagina. He thinks it's a chick car.

Me: (Shoving car keys into hubbies hand)  It's dark. No one will ever know the difference. Now go get him and scram.


I looked up Vag Mobile in the Urban dictionary and this is what it said.

1. Vag Mobile  -  A man driving a Mitsubishi Eclipse.

What is that?  It didn't mention anything about Nissan Pathfinders!

Badass SUV. Not a Vag Mobile

I got to thinking a bit more about my teenage son...

Other nonsense Jay rambles when he feels like it
1. I don't plan. Anything. It just all happens dude.
2. Hook me up with some of that scrimp.
3. P diddy, you game?
4. This is cleaned up. My clean pile, my dirty pile and my maybe in-between pile. Works for me.
5. Yo, Ma. Have you seen my deodorant, or my toothpicks?



Time for the alphabet game and we are up to letter F.  This could be Fun.
However, since we are on the subject of kids, and what more do kids (especially boys and grown men) think is a real hoot....

Topic: Farts are Funny!  Enjoy.  Warning: These videos are very noisy and smelly.

1.  The Farting car salesman

2. Ultimate Farts